Submitted by bstaton on Tue, 05/12/2009 – 11:45

Nine laughter-filled, candle-lit, chocolate-aided Thursday nights this spring, a small group of women has met at the Gilstrap & Napolitano offices to consider this question: What does it mean to live fully alive?

The question stems from St. Irenaeus, who said, “The glory of God is man fully alive.”

What does he mean by that? And, is it possible? As we face the pain of broken relationships or the mundane of carpool line, is there more to life than getting through the day? To echo the old movie title, is this as good as it gets?

During our Alive Group meetings, we discussed these topics:

1. Finding Life in My Own Story (Sharing our stories with one another.)
2. Alone Time: Now What? (What to do during meditation/spiritual retreat time.)
3. No Fear (Barrier to aliveness #1: fear.)
4. When Life Sucks (Barrier to aliveness #2: pain & suffering.)
5. Get Out of Jail Free Card (Barrier to aliveness #3: personal history.)
6. Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places (The false lovers/addictions we turn to . . . yes, we played the old Johnny Lee song.)
7. Who Are My Peeps? (Finding real life in community; relationship with others.)
8. What Does God Have to Do with It? (Finding real life in spiritual filling; relationship with God.)
9. Reflection (Feedback from the group.)

The Alive Group is a safe, confidential environment where women of all ages come together to share their stories, learn from one another, and imagine what it means to really live.

If you are interested in joining a nine-week Alive Group in Fall 2009, please contact Beverly, our Office Administrator. Groups will be offered in the daytime and the evening.

Britt Staton, M.A.

Submitted by jgilstrap on Fri, 06/26/2009 – 12:43

Farrah Fawcett died Thursday, June 25^th due to complications with her long battle against cancer.  Then just four hours and fifty-eight minutes later, the Los Angeles Times reported that the “King of Pop” Michael Jackson had died.

Farrah was a national sex symbol of the 70’s, a third of the well-known Charlie’s Angels and a star whose beauty seemed to overshadow her natural talent as an actor, artist and mother.  She was 62 years of age.

Michael Jackson was a “pop icon” whose career spanned over a period of almost 40 years.  According to the Guinness Book of World Records, he was “the most successful entertainer of all times”, the first African-American entertainer to successfully transcend and amass listeners and followers of all ages and all ethnicities.  He was 50 years of age.

We never know the day or the time that we will leave this world.  Farrah Fawcett and her family and friends had an idea that her time here on earth was coming to an end sometime soon.  Her family had the benefit of saying goodbye and expressing their love and life ending thoughts.  Her long, difficult and very public battle with cancer finally ended yesterday morning.  This was not a shock; this was something that on some level they were prepared for, unlike the death of Michael Jackson.  My guess would be that Michael Jackson did not wake up yesterday  morning and know that he would only live until the early afternoon, his family certainly did not know.  It was a shock!  I was shocked!  It seems that for most people it was a shock!

I can remember my Dad, my uncle and my cousin driving to Jacksonville to see his production of “Thriller.”  It was an unbelievable show with fireworks and of course his famed “moon walk”.

I am reminded of just how magnificent our bodies are, and yet how fragile our lives can be.  Each Sunday in the fall, giant brutes of men beat and bash each other’s bodies playing football.  Yet few sustain life threatening injuries.  Our Olympians complete feats of athletics’ that is almost unimaginable.  They push their bodies to complete exhaustion.  Yet, one can leave this earth because of a flu, virus, or worse depression leading to death.

I am also reminded of one of my dear friends who was vibrant, exciting and just fun to be with.  But in the blink of an eye, at 60 God decided to take him home.  Like Michael his family had no time to say good bye or I love you or I am sorry for my anger or transgressions.  So, on this day I rehearse and remember a very important lesson that my Grandmother taught me; never let the sun set without making right any wrongs that you may have committed to another.  You may never get the chance to do so.  This is so clear to me because it happened in my own family.  My cousin became estranged from his mother, and did not speak to her for a year.  It broke her heart, and she died of a broken heart.  The sad part was that her son will never be able to say I love you, or I am sorry.

Finally, we all will die one day.  Those who believe in Christ believe that they will have an afterlife with God.  This might be a good time for you to take a personal inventory of where you are with your family and loved ones and also your relationship to Christ.

Submitted by cmcgown on Mon, 06/29/2009 – 07:48

Throughout my experience as a counselor, there has been a consistent trend of a certain category of child.  I have seen successful, intelligent, and compassionate parents come to the edge of sanity trying to effectively parent and discipline a certain type of child.  This category of child is usually male, although it does not exclude females.  The category goes beyond Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder, although it can include these.  These children tend to increase their challenging behavior the more “good” parents pour on their “good” parenting skills.  Ironically, these very same parenting skills are typically successful with the other one to five children in the family but somehow backfire with this one special child.  These parents fluctuate from blaming themselves and feeling like failures to blaming this particular child and wondering if the babies were switched at the hospital.  Both of these extremes are typically not healthy or helpful for the family dynamic, nor are they actually true.

Let me describe a little about this particular type of child.  He tends to be physically active, seeks abundant attention, and will either argue or question every directive.  He will have tantrums or meltdowns (they look different as he gets older), which usually occur later in the day or evening.  He has difficulty multi-tasking and easily “forgets” anything that is not on his personal to-do/wish list.  This child can drain every emotional reservoir within 50 feet of him, but somehow he can still pull off a charming and likeable persona, which confuses the matter all the more.  These kids are fun and funny.  They are the guys that could take the party to the next level when they get older.  I will talk about these guys as they get older in another blog.  These kids sometimes have learning problems or at least they do not conform to the crowd in their learning styles.  They appear to be lazy in some areas of life but very motivated in other areas of life, such as an abiding commitment to watching television or playing video games.  If only marriages had the type of commitment and time investment that these kids have involved with visual stimulation.  These kids can be a blast and actually lead productive law-abiding lives (most of them anyways), but it does require an entirely different mindset and set of skills to nurture and guide them along the way.  Stay tuned for more about this new mindset and skill set.

-Curtis McGown, LMHC

http://www.curtismcgown.weebly.com/

Submitted by cmcgown on Tue, 06/30/2009 – 15:46

Challenging children require a great deal of attention whether it is negative or positive.  This type of child seems to have an emotional tank that empties quickly.  Due to their high need for emotional energy, they have refined their tools to accumulate as much emotional energy as quickly as possible from those around them.  Their need for emotional energy can be filled with emotional intensity from others, which can be negative or positive.  It does not matter in one sense.  Children learn quickly that it is easier to elicit a high level of emotional intensity in negative form than in positive form.  Think about it for a second.  If you see your child doing something that they know is wrong, most parents are likely to react in an animated fashion, more than if they see their child doing something that they know is right.  The content of what is being said is not as important as the form in which it is being communicated to the child in order for it to meet the child’s “emotional need.”  Additionally, what ever we as parents “feed” with emotional energy, is what tends to “grow.”  Children’s behavior is like plants in this respect.  If we give attention, food, water, and fertilizer to the weeds, then they will outgrow the flowers and eventually choke out the flowers.  If we water and fertilize the flowers, and starve the weeds, then we have a more fruitful garden, which only requires occasional weeding.  As parents focus their emotional energy on negative behavior in challenging children, the negative behavior tends to grow.  This is where challenging children differ from other types of children.  In the majority of children, receiving negative emotional energy while being corrected tends to decrease that negative behavior in that child, but this is not the case in the type of child that we are discussing.  Again, the emotional energy being received is more important to the child’s emotional need than what form it comes in.  With challenging children, it is important to feed the positive behavior that you want to cultivate in your child.  This requires getting excited and becoming animated frequently when you see your child doing what is expected of them.  Remember to feed what you want to see more of, and starve (emotionally ignore) what you don’t want to grow in your child.  More to come on how to discipline and reward behavior with challenging children.

Curtis McGown, LMHC

www.curtismcgown.weebly.com

Submitted by cmcgown on Tue, 07/28/2009 – 20:18

After completing assessments on adolescents for a number of years, I have seen a particular category that has become quite distinct and without much variation.  This group of teenage girls tend to present as intelligent, creative, and gothic.  Many of them have acted out with cutting or other self-injury behavior.  They can tend toward drama, which mimics Bipolar, but I have noticed that many of them have traumatic stress related to sexual abuse of some type, and their triggered stress looks a great deal like mood swings or conduct disorder.  They tend to have compassion for those that are hurting.  They tend to have some type of social maturity that attracts older people with whom they like to relate, but they also have an immaturity somewhat like a young girl with a twisted perception of innocense.  If these girls become involved in drug abuse, it is usually alcohol or pain medication abuse, although many of them do not like feeling “out of control.”  Many of them have a developed sense of their spirituality, although it can be somewhat confused.  This type of teenager is typically more responsive to attentive adults that do not relate to them as behavioral problems.  They appreciate those who do not overreact to their oddities, and they respond well to a great deal of understanding and sincere empathy.  These young ladies can be susceptible to being victimized or being taken advantage of, which is concerning.  They need help developing healthy boundaries and resolving internal conflicts usually related to their sexuality.

Submitted by cmcgown on Thu, 08/20/2009 – 11:00

I reviewed the effects of toxic levels of lead and mercury in the brain through mapping.   Both lead and mercury have a damaging effect on the gray matter in the brain causing it to lose its electrical charge.   It tends to fatigue brain functioning causing depressive symptoms or anger problems.   It can contribute to a variety of problems in the neurological functioning and information processing.   Lead appears to be very common among those diagnosed with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity (ADHD).   Mercury appears to be very common among those diagnosed with some form of Autism.  Those diagnosed with some form of Depression and Bipolar Disorder seem to have one or both elevated levels.  The good news is that typically the metals can be withdrawn from the body through a process called chelation, which can assist in alleviating the neurological dysfunction.

Submitted by sdiack on Wed, 09/09/2009 – 09:18

As the carefree, vacation-filled days of summer come to an end, we gear up for the frenzied pace of life that fall is sure to bring.  The hustle and bustle of back-to-school / back-to-work / back-to-football / back-to-gym / back-to-must-see-tv., quickly fills our schedules and before we know it, we wonder where the time has gone. Our summer hiatus has a way of inviting reflection, evaluation and self-care. We take time to think, feel and be.  We choose solace.  Whether it’s time spent with family or retreats away, we allow time for pause and the enjoyment of who we were made to be. If you are like me, there is something about keeping busy that feels good and productive. I take pride in being a master at multi-tasking.  We live in a culture that equates efficiency with success, and it seems our value is dependent on this rule.   The busier we are, the more important we are; the more important we are, the more worth we have. It seems like the more filled-up our calendars are with sports practices, church meetings or coffee dates, the richer our lives must be. Certainly, we are ambiguous people.  Part of us wants to cling to the silence and serenity we experience when we structure life in a way that permits this, and the other part longs for the endless opportunities and excitement busyness affords.  Ironically, the latter feels so much easier. Why does exerting continual energy and time feel like a breath of fresh air compared to sitting in silence? Examining our true inner feelings, thoughts, disappointments and hopes might seem permitted on a once-a-year basis, but to continually prioritize rest and internal awareness seems agonizing and overwhelming. Busyness can become a means of avoiding and escaping the less controlled and less understood longings of our heart. So, what is the point of intentionally setting aside time in the midst of our crazy schedules for silence, reading a good book, taking a walk and meditation? The point is realizing the cost of not doing so. While for some it feels easier to disconnect, we miss out on the beauty of sitting with ourselves, sitting with God, and just being.  We sacrifice this precious time and miss out on so much of what is.  Our true desire of rest and fulfillment is often suppressed by our fear of embracing our internal worlds. As image-bearers of Christ, we hold immense value and beauty based on who we are.  He gives us feelings, experiences and ponderings, which are worthy of reflection.  His creation and creatures reflect much of His character, yet we often fail to notice.  Until we believe that the unique hearts, truths and life stories He has given us are hugely significant and reflect who He is, we will allow life to be unexamined. Entering this busy season, my prayer and hope is to intentionally set aside time each day to do less—and just be.

Submitted by sdiack on Fri, 09/11/2009 – 12:23

Eight years ago today, America experienced the tragedy of 9/11.  The events of that morning are etched into our memories—where we were, what we felt, and what we saw.

At the time I was working in Washington, DC a couple miles past the Pentagon.  I was driving into work when the hijacked plane hit the Pentagon; I remember hearing the booming noise, my car trembling, and the sky going dark with smoke. Immediately cell phone towers went down, cutting off communication and adding to the chaos and fear-stricken people trying to make sense of what was going on.  I, along with so many others, felt terrified, alone and confused.

Everyone has their own unique story of how that morning affected them, whether it was worrying about a loved one living in one of the targeted cities or watching the horrors on their TV screens.  However, one common thing that united us all on that day—and continues to unite us—is the feeling of powerlessness over things we cannot control.  The confusion and devastation of the terrorist attacks were bigger than what we could grasp.  People seemed to unite in community—because they knew they couldn’t do it alone.  Churches were filled, neighbors met each other for the first time, and strangers stopped and talked on the street.  The topics of suffering, grief and anger were openly talked about in new ways.

Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Church in New York City, preached a sermon the Sunday after 9/11 which spoke boldly about our approach and response to suffering.  Keller says that often times we blame others or ourselves when suffering comes into our lives. We want some kind of ownership or control over the situation, so that we feel like we could have prevented it—and might be able to prevent it in the future. We are committed to fixing things, rather than grieving or feeling helpless.

In our commitment to make things better, we often miss the greater purpose God has for us through these hardships.  Keller says that Christ offers us “not a consolation, but rather a resurrection.”  This is powerful! Jesus fully knows our suffering and weeps along with us, but he offers something much greater than taking away the pains of life.  He offers us His strength in our weakness, His life in our death, His power in our powerlessness and His glory in our confusion.  His promises do not protect us from hurt and sorrow, but they do ensure us that our sorrow can be a gift (even when it feels excruciating), which lets us know more of His heart and His comfort.  We can let ourselves feel the weightiness of life because we have a Savior who wants to bear the weight for us.

9/11 was a very clear time of suffering and uncertainty, but we experience these times in different degrees throughout our lives.  Distant marriages, the loss of a child, financial hardship and many other things can stir up those same questions in our hearts and make us wonder what God is doing.  The anniversary of 9/11 is a fitting time to think about our views and responses to suffering and the many ways in which we try to just make it go away.  As we remember the men and women who lost their lives, and the families who continue to grieve their losses, Christ calls us to hold fast to His resurrection and power for the suffering in this life, giving us the strength and freedom to grieve, ask, and believe.

N-3 Polyunsaturated Fatty Acids Decrease Feelings Of Anger In A Population Of Substance Abusers

L. Buydens, M. Branchey, A. Roy. Neuropsychopharmacology, 2005;30(1):S87–S88 VA New York Harbor Healthcare System, Brooklyn, NY, USA Disclaimer: Provided as a service by Nordic Naturals for educational purposes only, this document is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure disease.© Nordic Naturals, Inc. 2005.

Background

It has been suggested that low levels of some polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFAs) play a role in the pathophysiology of depressive, suicidal and aggressive behaviors, including homicides. This can be understood in light of the fact thatPUFAs are structural components of neuronal membranes phospholipids and influence neuronal function. The evidence linking low levels of PUFAs and aggression is however still scant. Because aggressive behaviors are intensively bound up with drug use, we studied the effects of the administration of PUFAs of the n-3 series in a group of substance abusers.

Methods

Thirteen patients were given on a daily basis capsules containing 3 grams of n-3 PUFAs (2,250 mg of eicosapentaenoicacid (EPA, 20:5n-3), 500 mg of docosahexaenoic acid (DHA, 22:6n-3) and 250 mg of other n-3 PUFAs).Eleven patients received similarly looking placebo capsules containing vegetable oils. The treatment duration was 3months. Capsules were given in a double-blind manner. A modified version of the Profiles of Mood States (POMS)questionnaire was administered at baseline and every month thereafter for a period of 3 months. Six patients in thePUFA group and 8 patients in the placebo group were followed up for an additional 3 months after treatment discontinuation and were administered the same questionnaire every month. At baseline, a life long history of aggressive behavior and a history of problems with the law were obtained.

Results

The 13 patients who received n-3 PUFAs and were followed for 3 months showed a progressive decline in the POMSanger subscale scores. This was not the case for the 11 patients who received placebos. A comparison of the 2 groups by repeated measures ANCOVAs (with baseline value as covariate) revealed a significant difference (p<.025). The 6patients in the PUFA group who were followed for 6 months showed a progressive increase in anger scores from the4th to the 6th month, but their scores did not return to baseline levels. No trend was observed in the anger scores fluctuations recorded from the 4th to the 6th month in the 8 patients who had received placebo capsules. A comparison of the 2 patient groups followed for 6 months was significant at a trend level. Four of the 13 patients in the PUFA group and 4 of the 11 patients in the placebo group had a history of assaultive behavior and 7 patients in each of these groups had been jailed for offenses ranging from drug possession to theft, DWI, weapon possession and assaults.

Discussion

This study, which needs to be replicated in larger samples, showed that the daily administration of 3 grams of n-3PUFAs for a period of 3 months significantly decreased feelings of anger in a population of substance abusers by comparison with the administration of a placebo. This decrease was followed by an increase in anger scores in asub group of patients who were followed for an additional 3 months. These data give support to epidemiologicalstudies showing a decrease in homicides in countries where the consumption of foods rich in n-3 PUFAs such as fishis high. Angry feelings can lead to aggressive behaviors. Supplements of n-3 PUFAS, that are both inexpensive and well tolerated, might be considered as treatment adjuncts in patients displaying these behaviors.

The product used in this study was purchased from Nordic Naturals. The product name was EPA™/ProEPA™. The dose was 5 capsules/day.

Follow the link below for this article:

http://www.spacecoastmedicine.com/2009/10/child-specialist-plays-role-in-collaborative-divorce.html